Saturday, December 12, 2020

Youth found in Memories , Remembered Sound and the Music of my Life and How it Imitated Art

       As a Youth, I'd often wonder why Music made the Spirit in me , move. As with Art , so to Life. Such certain circumstances , all having things in common, a thread perhaps, a Story more likely. When a story is narrated , the speaker sets the decorations and creates Life. With Art , you must use an imagination to fill those empty shelves with the decorative things of life, if you will forgive the way I refer to , Earthly possessions , saying , Earth, Wind, Fire and Water are mere possessions, an Abstract to be used as a comparison, but seeing as the Earth is finite, we will use Music, because it has an Esoteric life all its own , it is , in itself , Divine and Other Worldly.                                               Now, as I remember, there are certain moments in life that when Music plays, it effects us, it highlights in such an authentic originality that it amplifies each and every tiny moment of said moments. Any situation you place yourself or just plain came by and joined in will be experienced with such a quality of Life, that not only does it Imitate it , it Absorbs it , emulates it, goes beyond the veil of Earthly existence and walks the Corridors of the Astral Divine.                                                                                                          Each sound evokes an Emotion or response of equal perpotion. I have been told that the L.P. , you know a Vinyl Record that plays all your favorites from a particular Band. This particular Band had an Album , Dark Side of the Moon, by Pink Floyd. Now as I was told , you play that Album , Dark Side of the Moon and at the same time you play the movie , Wizard of Oz. Now as I said , each sound evokes an Emotion and most every one has seen the movie and heard at least a small part of the Album ( if not the whole album , more than once LOL ) and they each bring such different memories coming from different places , like where you were m what you were doing, that is a thing that has a fixed point to each separate thing. The fixed point is your own thoughts, so when you hear or see a thing that has brought you such pleasure through sight and sound and bring them together for a first time you have created a synchronicity and that is a wonderful exploration of a mind that was fixed in one point and now brought together with another fixed point.                                                                                                                    I have been visiting that point lately. No, not with the Dark Side of the Moon and the Wizard of Oz ( that might just blow , whats left to this poor mind ! ) At certain times the noises in my head retreat and only one remains. When that happens I can go into the TV room and turn the Surround Sound all the way up and experience what until now has been , me watching the closed caption and missing the show, but at least I know the plot , if not the characters. The memories are as real as the sound that I can hear. You haven't heard Music until you have no hearing except for the brain music you can remember, then all at once , it comes back like a flood , both the experience of hearing what I knew I had heard so long ago and now hearing it again , that Music, and once again going to that fixed point in space and time , like in a blink of an eye and not even high , but I will try and suffice it to say that Music Hath Charms to Sooth a Savage Breast , Entice a wandering eye, exhibit strange and beautiful behavior and turn a Cold Stone Heart into a Melted Ore. 

Monday, November 23, 2020

" What If " Just Imagine If It All Turns Out To Be A " HIGH TRUTH "

      What If ?  Think on this. Just imagine , a tiny little stretch of the imagination , less than if you go see a Science Fiction Movie. What if it turns out to be a High Truth ? The All Everything , never created , never ending , Omnipotent , ever was , always will be, God of us all and all of everything.                                          It takes 250 million years for one complete Revolution of the Galaxy we live in and the Earth we live on is purported to be severely older than that. How much older, 100 revolutions ?  More ? Time & Space & Light created all by this Gods , " Word " Absolutely Unbelievable ... Not !  Truly Believable... Of Course !                                                                                                                                                                    Let us believe this is so , for now , and I will tell you what I know of this " What If " , and you can decide what is True and what You Believe.                                                                                                            What do we know of thousands of years, we can read about it, we can go to School for it and be personally involved in finding things that are from 1000 years ago or even 100,000 years ago but think about a 1,000,000 years ago or 1,000,000,000  years ago. Nothing can come close , even believing that 1,000,000,000 years ago things lived , well, long before that , God set forth and Created all from nothing . A  " Word " from God and all was set in motion. Beautiful Perfected Chaotic Balance of Everything. Planets, Stars, Suns and Moons, think of something , anything and it was in that " Word " which held all of everything. Gods plan was so simple and elegant that Poets have spent Millennia trying to imagine the right words to describe it, even the smallest of details  can be written about and need yards of paper to describe what is told in those few words.                                                                                                                 In the beginning , life was simple, single celled life forms and God knew from billions of Planets and even more Galaxies in an ever expanding Universe, life will happen and expand on itself and grow expotentially and have results only God could know and watch for. Fast forward 1,000,000,000,000 years and here we are. We look at ourselves as the Pinnacle of Human Knowledge and Advancement, Marvel and Execution and yet we have trouble with a simple concept of Loving others as we Love our self. We look at others and see a reflection of someone different from us because they live on the other side of the Planet. They live all the way over there and they look funny to us, get real they think we look as funny to them as we think they look. Reality check we all look funny to another, unless we are so stuck up and think of our self as so pretty and you be so ugly that it makes others want to walk away , shaking their head in disgust. All of this is a really fine example of how , as a group of humans have matured over the ages. We just can't be honest with our self , so why should we be honest with others.                                            Despite Geography , Sociology , Politics , and Religion , there are so many people who really try to do what is right , not only for those around us or those with whom we want to be like but for the sake of being good and wanting those things for our children. If you were to ask any person on this Earth what do they wish for , the majority of those asked would say, a better future for their children , more chances at happiness for them and then their children. When you get right down to it and speak of these four things I mentioned, Geography, Sociology, Politics and Religion , each one has its roots that it made by those in power. When each started they had a grand idea , that it might join together the people so that those , " In The Know " could control those who needed , not to know. Each person , was once said to not be an Island. That simple put is that each and every one of us needs each other . Not only is it easier when instead of one person striving , two people can live, or so it seems. Nothing is easy but with another you have someone to tell your worries to and share each day and Love each other, you have an awful hard time knowing Love without another.                                                                                                                               Three of the four things I mentioned has to do with Earthly things. Land and how it should be divided. Who is strong and who is weak and how should we use this to select people , so we can know who is good and who is bad. Then with Politics its almost the same as Sociology , we don't want to do anything about what is going on around us , whether its cleaning streets or regulating the size of a building lot , so all around the world we have Politicians to do that type of work for us, but little do we know its all a big sham , we give up the right to know whats going on right in front of us as well as the next block and then the rest of the way around the World. Most of what is done is done behind closed doors in what some might say is , " To Closed For Comfort " but Politicians will just say its for the good of the whole, when its the people who are the whole, but I digress. Religion is the only one of the four that is the people, still hidden by those who need secrecy to hold us in a grip of Religious fever. When it all comes down to one thing. Every Religion , known to man and still being practiced and those Religions that have been dead for centuries held the belief that their is at its Core, there is the " Unknown " the One , Father, Most High and the list goes on but the meaning is the same. All over the world for as long as Human beings looked up at the Stars and wondered , How, Why and most important... Who !  Who is behind all this and further still , all from different times, different places and different Peoples. All meaning the same thing but as I just said with differences in Time and Space but the same idea of an all knowing, all Intense, all things in one God.                                                                                                                                                                          So, God set forth in motion, " HIS " simply perfect plan to let life flow and flourish where it will, with Free Will , with Love available along with every other emotion that can be thought of , good , bad, evil or good thrown into the mix to see what comes from allowing Beings , ( I say beings , because I am including Civilization's that are millions of years ahead of use and of course, also , maybe , behind us ) . to be shown a path with every kind of pleasure, pain , Love and Hate, disease and every situation imaginable to find out what would be done if left alone to their own devises for perhaps millions of years or more then come and take a look at what we have done with all that was given us. Starting with the Cavemen and women , up to and then including all the years in between so the strong can be strong and Good or Vile, Bad or Forgiving , until the methods change because we grew, for Good and Bad we grew into Technology . Now there are whole new ways to treat people . Easier to Subjugate , Torture , Disenfranchise all those who say , No. No to War, No to taking children and turning them into Killing Machines, Little Girls into Women over night and against their will, and to Balance things out so good has the same chance as Bad. The Technology and people behind it to create systems to save all these people who are , The Minus People who have no one to see after their happiness and only Prayer to nourish them.                                                                                                                                                                        Now the scene is set and all things that have been put into motion have been played and the answer is in front of us. GOD awakens ! How long has GOD been asleep, if we can call what a GOD does , as sleep. From a slumber , Universe Deep and Wide, Millions of years, allowing us to be what we will be , not caring because , th Iought caught up with us and said if there is a GOD why would the World be this way , when it was us with our Free Will and assumption that we are the top of the Food Chain, the Apex of everything out there. GOD the willing Parent to Worlds of Beings let loose and choosing what will be , trying hard and not knowing that a Balance was put into place for our own good . Take a very close look around , at the Chaos that is all around, because we have no time to look at one another in the eyes and say, you are my Brother and I am yours, no matter where and what your circumstances are , I am there for you as I know you will be there for me. You will defend me , as I you , you hold my life as dear as your own, I will not succumb to Earthly Reality because I know there is a GOD out there watching us with Love for all , if only to ask and be .                                                                                                                          I see for myself the very small people we are, and at times, I worry. Then I see young men and young women who have made a place in this World where the Weak and undefended have Shelter. Where Powerful Money Interest's have hold, I see  Courageous young and old taking each others hands and Marching forward for a better Future... and I worry , just a bit less.                                                                                 GOD in what is know as Infinite Wisdom sees all and knows of those who have lead this fight , with Honor , Love and Courage. There may be hope , there may be Love , but always there is God and maybe in one more 250 Million year Revolution , we will be closer to the " ONE " God than we seem to be , Today.  with

                         I hope you have enjoyed this read, I am glad you have read it and even more so , glad I have written it, it is deep in my Heart , and my belief in the Balance of things. I believe in One God that allows us the Freedom , or Free Will if you like to be what we are  , but know that every  we do has a Balance of equal weight.                                                                                                             

Sunday, November 22, 2020

Sit Down, Shut Up, and keep those Prayers Coming ! Or how I learned to be Anxious and still keep from hitting someone with a Banana Cream Pie.


          So, I am one of those people who abhor the use of Violence. Being Yelled at or much worse, me Yelling at someone ( I have been trying so very hard to become much more Patient and Calm ). I try my very best to be nice to everyone , especially those that have difficulty with me. When I write I take great care to choose my words as carefully as I can and still get my meaning across. Softly, is the word I might use to describe how , when I write the words I use. I know I am just one voice trying to get a message of Love, Patience, Warmth and Caring across through the stories I write. Sometimes a seed that is planted will take hold and grow the most wondrous of Fruits, but something has happened and it makes me thing an outside force is bringing things to a boil. Soft it seems is for weaklings, not a real person would speak soft with thoughts of Love and caring for those other than ourselves. So on that note I will stop ( For Now ) writing soft and will tell it like you think it is ( No , not all of the people I know are thinking this but it needs to be said and those I know the best will know my meaning and know I only want , Love and Understanding ). In writing this I hope I can get my message across , because what I am seeing disturbs me to no end. People are Retreating into themselves , further and further into a safe corner of their own mind and body. When we are driven into a corner , it is never ant good and will end even worse, these are not the problems of just one place , one small corner , No this is something big and it is spreading ( Far Worse than the Corona Virus ) throughout the world, we must not be separated from each  other.                          NOW I SAY !  SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND KEEP THOSE  PRAYERS COMING !                              WOW ! Everything in Caps , I must be Yelling !  I am so sorry for that but I must. I am so tired of things being said and done that push us farther apart. I would ask , where has Common Sense gone but that may seem soft, so that is why, Sit Down , Shut Up , and keep those Prayers Coming.                                     With what has been written and what has been taken out of context because it is like the game of phone tag, one person has told the next and by the time it gets to us the message has been forever changed and now no one can believe what is said and being done. I will try to break it down and then let you decide if what I am Yelling is worth all the Yelling !  First, I say, Sit Down. I am really asking not telling, but when you sit down things happen, first you take the burden off of your feet and then start to relax. When you sit , your body knows it is time to take a breath and when you do, it calm's you, when you are calm you can start to see things that maybe you can't when you stand and are erect and stiff. So now you are sitting becoming calm and hopefully open to hear things, because the next thing you hear is, Shut Up ! I know I hate it when someone tells me to Shut Up. So I know it puts up a very big Red Flag even if you are sitting. But you are sitting and by me telling you to Shut Up I am really asking you to take a leap of Faith, yes Faith. I am not your Mother telling you to Shut Up because she can or your teacher in the class where everyone is talking all at once the the last nerve is frayed and breaking so as a last resort , SHUT UP ! No, I am a writer asking you to Stop, you are sitting you are in one place and now I want you to listen , so to that I say Shut Up so maybe you can find a way to help yourself and those with whom you Love and want the best for , which brings me to the very Crux of why I have you sitting and Shutting Up, LOL. Prayer. Yes Prayer !  I am not a Preacher and I hope this being written does not seem to be Preaching but it may so just stay sitting and listen. Prayer works different ways for different people. W@hen you Pray all you are doing is talking and what are you talking about, your fears your difficulties what you want to happen to you and those around you. Yes it is all of those things and much , much more. What you don't know is that Prayer helps and with just a tiny bit of Faith it works even better. Prayer might just be an expression of what is going on in your life and maybe others as well. It is like a Vibration of like thoughts, each person having doubts and fears, it sends out a feeling, like when you are nervous it is relieved somewhat or all together when you talk to someone about it, well it is the same with fear . Fear sends out a signal a Vibration if you will allow that definition , but when you talk it is like a light has been lit and you can see the fear for what it is, the unknown and to Pray is to Light up a path to see our life as it is and mostly it is the need to be wanted or better told, the need to be Loved, Prayer brings that to you only when you Pray with Love in your Heart and thoughts of Peace , Harmony, and the want of those things for others not just yourself. Well now I am all Yelled out and I do hope you can forgive me for being hard instead of soft, but prayer does help and those of us whom pray daily with the thought of others first can tell you that there is peace to be had in Praying. 



Wednesday, September 30, 2020

All things are beautiful if looked at through the eyes of a believer !

When we believe , like the simple , unadulterated belief of children , things all around us are beautiful.  Laughter is not only possible but Mandatory !  When crying does erupt , there is always one who will go and hold the crier's hand and wait with them until the crying is all gone and a smile is reaching their heart.Any one who has children or is involved with young children see this happen every day, it is the promise of youth to those who have lost the simple ability to see as a child, the simple beauty  of life and everything that is contained within !   The concept of money owed or borrowed is a page not written yet, yes all to soon it will be an integral part of everyday living but there is no need to snatch that from the Believers of Santa, the Easter Bunny and so much more , when we allow and actually aid in this action we are spreading something Magic that only lasts for an instant in children's lives we are the keepers of that belief and it is up to us to encourage every and all sorts of beliefs that let our children make magic to aid US in our daily lives so that when we look into our child's eyes we can see the magic happening right there on their pretty little faces !   


Tuesday, September 29, 2020

Trying to remember how to go from Face Book Posts , cut and Paste then bring them here to my Blog !

I thought my mind was a bit more elastic than that. I know when I read a direction to do something that I have never done before, I must read and do at the same time so I will not forget how to do that specific thing, what ever that specific thing is. Well , now I know that I am leaning over the Old Age post and forgetting to untie my Horse before I try to Gallop off into, the doing of a thing !  I now need to go back and relearn how to cut and paste from one site to another. I had it down pat and used it well. I moved many of my old posts from Face Book , to this site, My Blog, Oh well , it just goes to show that even an old dog who learned a new trick can forget where he buried his Learned Bone !               THE WRITER 

Saturday, September 26, 2020

My Silence, Written differently from any other writing I have ever posted ! I ask complete Honesty when Critiquing. 9/26/2020

 My Silence :   The Writer

Silence, not only do I hear it, but I Fear it with equal animosity. There are no Vibrations, still , empty and unable, for even a Whisper to my own Heart.                                                                                                  Unlike Sight  with all its sharp shaded inconsistencies and colored incongruities .

This Silence I Own !  Unlike any Prepared Silences, mine hold my hand, where yours , Flirts and Flits Circuitously and Perpendicular, to any and every Nuance and mine sits and waits for even the smallest of rewards, yet knowing fully well the reward has been paid in full , as to , being New Borne , is as to aged mockery.                                                                                                                                                             Silence is not just a mere physical adaptation, with my Psyche, the open dogeared chapters. Sight and the other senses are of , Tangent, grapple, view & audition , experience new Visual Ques , experience " The Love of the Arts."

My Silence is Deafening , in its completeness .  At  the drop of a hat, it Attacks !  Viscous , Loud and Querulous, Slanted  Slamming, direct and Deathly Dedicated to the Weathers Whim.                                    Nature , in my Silence is the Apex Predator and I am lees than any prey. I can never run away , crawl or walk , these attacks have corrupted my Hard Drive and brought me to my knees !                                          At times , I am the Dark in a World of Light and my Essence calls out for any Hinge, a Lever.          

I am Blessed ... I am Cursed,  you decide !                                                                                                        There are times , or maybe , Spaces in that long series of eye opening and eye closing. I feel a presence in this great empty stillness . Auditory Light, a inspirational Vibration  of Excellence and Expression of Awareness, So To ! .  .  . I AM NOT ALONE ! 






Sunday, August 2, 2020

Why I write , and why should I , when it doesn't get read !

    Why do I write when I am not even sure any one will read what I have written. I am not really sure why this is so. I know I love to write and when I have written something I think is good , I know I want to share it with someone. Do I think what I have written is important ? I am not sure it is important , until someone reads it and says its good , which has happened almost never, yet I keep on writing. When I go back to some of the older things I have written ,then I am really not sure , because of how bad it seems, with no back board to bounce it off of then it just goes and is left there , a pile of letters incorporated into sentences with not a thought of being a thought just words on a page. Still I write and respond myself to myself what is beyond that I have no clue. And still I write and wait for something ? To be noticed , how can one be noticed if you don't pull your pants down and show what you got, its seems just like that you need sex drugs and or rock and roll , and even now rock and roll is not in favor anymore and drugs seem passe. So if you have long legs and a great set of tits your able to get noticed but is your 15 minutes of fame worth it ? I guess if you want to be seen it is , is what I have to say worth me showing my tits, probably not only because I am old and have not got a set of great tits anymore. I want to stop because its depressing not being read and someone anyone who can tell me what I have written has worth, but I can't stop it is an addiction that I like , I write things that I feel need to be said so I keep on writing whether or not any one reads and enjoys or gets pissed or says you suck anything maybe I need to tell something so outrageous that everyone will hate me and read what I have written so they can tell me to go get fucked , but at least I will have been read !   Good bye for now or forever which ever comes first !
                     THE WRITER

Monday, July 27, 2020

Goodbye, Red Tail The True Story of why the Mated pair of Red Tail Hawks moved from that Pine Tree in my backyard !

                                                      GOODBYE ,  RED TAIL

   Whenever I saw Red Tail, it seemed as though he was happy. Even when he wasn't soaring so high he was just a speck in the sky. Wheeling about drifting with the winds and circling back to where he started. He seemed happy doing what came naturally , flying high in search of his next dinner.
   It is said that when you see a Hawk in the sky alone it is a message from Spirits and if you believe in Spirits and Divine messages, then this is a story for you.
   My living in the country, farm life if you will, started my Senior year in High School. Moving from the Silver City to Durham and getting a ride back and forth my Senior year certainly made it easier to skip class and go else where, but I did graduate by the fine hairs that my face wasn't ready for yet.  So now I was a country boy, from the big city. Yeah the farm we lived on had all the things you could expect on a farm , cows , pigs , chickens , roosters, Guinea Hens, with the loudest most awful cry that even a loud rooster would be proud of. Geese that made the patrol rounds , that routed the entire 14 acres , only to do it again with the same route the next day and the next, probably several generations later but still the same path.
   I have always been fascinated by Birds of Prey, birds that hunted from on high, diving at incredible speeds and taking there prey in one swift motion, if that motion was going down at 70 m.p.h. or more. Eagles , Hawks, and Falcons had a strange effect on me. I don't know how my brother knew of this fascination and certainly didn't know how he managed to get me  Peregrine Falcon. All I knew before this happened , he told me to come down below the deck and help him build an enclosure. Chicken wire , several branches for perches , a watering and feeding niche, an entrance within an entrance, so that I could go in close the door behind me and then go into the enclosure. Several days later, Malcolm my brother came to me with a split face grin and said follow me. The absolute last thing in the world I would have thought he was going to show me was a Beautiful Blue Grey Peregrine Falcon ( Falco Peregrinus ) sitting on the perch in the enclosure , Mal and I, had built just a few days ago, I was literally speechless, which made my brother laugh to no end. I had never seen my brother happier, there was my Bird of Prey , She had a hood on and a tether loosely  tied to the perch. I couldn't take my eyes off of her but my brother dragged me away telling me I had lots to learn before next week when Mr. Hawk ( that's right, Mr. Hawk ) came here to inspect the enclosure and the Falcon and me. " Me " I asked, "Yeah , you, they have to know you know what your doing to be able to handle a Bird Of Prey properly", " well ain't that something, okay " with that he handed me a manila envelope with the Birth Certificate , its lineage, proper feeding and the proper food, proper handling, he looked at me and gave me one more surprise, a Leather Glove that went clear up to my elbow. We both went down and admired my bird, I was so excited I couldn't think of a name, not just yet. Sleep didn't come easy and when it finally did, I had a dream of hunting with a Falcon. My brother was gone doing what it is brothers do when they are 4 years younger and the older brother doesn't pay much attention, there was a letter from him to me telling me he would see me in a couple of days and to enjoy the moment. I took fresh water and brought a mouse with me to feed , oh I still didn't have a name, well when I see her I'll know. Downstairs and outside , looking at the enclosure, something is wrong, both doors to the enclosure are open. The tether and hood are tangled on the perch, holy shit my Bird is gone !
   Its been many years since I have thought of the Bird, my Peregrine Falcon , I never did figure out what had happened. Now with the sight of Red Tail my Fascination begins again.
 A Red Tail Hawk is a born killer, not for sport , certainly not , but for life, his life and now the life of his mated partner. Red Tail Hawks mate for life and are very family oriented which you can see mostly when building their nest, special care is taken from both the male and female. The Male hawk shares the incubation period with the female, taking turns hunting and caring for the egg or eggs .
   I don't know why Red Tail took the big Pine that was on the border of the yard behind mine. The last really big ice storm left holes in the trees making a clear view of where the Hawks nest was, you couldn't make out the nest , even with a pair of binoculars but you could see then take off and land in the tree , then climb into the branches, disappearing in the camouflage of pine.
   The way the trees were lined up from north to south gave me a perfect view of the pair coming and going, one time especially. I was in the bedroom that lines up perfectly enabling me to see the bushes running north to south, a literal runway coming from the Pine tree in the back yard . I happen to be installing new wooden blinds in the window facing out towards that runway, when I spot the Male, Red Tail swooping down out of the pine tree over the shed and down to about tree feet off of the ground, still gliding from the initial take off he went past the window where I got a first hand look at his wings out stretched ( about 5" across ) while he silently slipped by , in between the house and the 4" tall, meticulously  trimmed ever green shrubs. Then just as effortlessly flapped once twice, then thrice and was going up into the sky without a prey knowing there was a killer coming to find them.
   I had other moments with the pair, sitting on the front peak of my shed, flying over the house dipping down and coming into close view as if just for me to see, but not another moment like that in time and beauty with Red Tail.
   Spring had come and was inching its way towards summer, the days were warmer and getting longer. Most of the Spring born animals were finding their foot holds and learning survival skills in the open world from Momma as it is the usual way in Nature.I am very lucky to have a special spot in this neighborhood , being so close to a wooded area that runs for miles . There is an abundance of wild animals that cross from the wooded area to a well used path that ends up at water and then an open field to more wooded land. I often see baby deer or young fox or hare coming and going but my favorite is my feeder in the big Bay Window at the front of my house. I have a Humming bird sugar feeder and a four section bird feeder. I get many , finches, woodpeckers and occasional Cardinal but for the most part its Sparrows. There are sparrow nests in the Red Maple in the front yard  but the closest and easiest to see a new born hatching is in , one or the two shaped evergreen shrub. The decorative bush to the left side of the entrance to the house has had a nest in it every season as long as I can remember. I had been watching with interest this particular Sparrow family because of the opening that got just big enough to see almost the entire nest after the last winter.
   On one morning not different from any other morning, I looked into the nest hoping to catch a glimpse of newly hatched birds , but to my shock I saw something that didn't  register as anything I could recognize. I kept looking and looking again, then a picture was shaping into what I was truly seeing. I didn't want to believe what I was seeing until Red Tail moved a wing as a Sparrow tried to enter the nest and Red Tail with all the new born Sparrows clutched in its talons and trapped in its beak came flushing out of the small hole to the nest, all wings and  talons showing front, then extending those wings out like a pair of pointed hands separating the opening and blasting out at full speed, up and into the front yard, escaping the shrub with every single baby Sparrow, clutched and biting. As I watched in horrible shock, and amazement while still holding my breath, not truly understanding what it was that i just saw, but seeing and believing all in that terrible instant that it actually took for the whole sequence of escape and flight. Red Tail had waited patiently while the parents went somewhere leaving the nest unguarded for a moment, then like a shadow with no noise or fuss, stole into that seemingly small space and took the lives of a Sparrow family, to feed his own. That is the life of a Hunter
   Now you may think that was the end of the story, I thought so until about two weeks later.
   What I failed to notice or even realize the Red Tail or his mate had not been seen in the skies or anywhere for that matter. Which , all in all isn't something you notice at first. What did happen was that Red Tails mate had had just one egg, which is not something unusual , at times a Hawk may have more than one , but varied from season to season . Some seasons no egg mat come. So seeing either Hawk really didn't register until an extremely fast and hard rain. So hard in fact that the gutters were over flowing down the back of the gutter and coming down the house. Seeing the rain running down the house worried me enough to bring out the aluminum ladder and bring it up to see what is happening. From right to left I checked, the gutter was full, backed up and nothing coming out of the down spout. Moving my ladder so I could reach in and find out what was blocking the down spout. I reached in and to my surprise I pulled out a Hawks egg. It seems a squirrel stole the Hawks egg from the Pine tree and was carrying it back to his Drey ( Nest ) when he lost hold of it as it rolled down the roof landing in the gutter, he was not able to retrieve it so it was left there until this rain and my discovery.. What I believe is that a squirrel saw his chance just like Red Tail, took the chance and ran. The life of a hunter is always hard, every day you must face the fact that if you don't kill , you don't eat and if you don't eat long enough , you will die.
   So this is my Goodbye to Red Tail and his mate, I hope they have a family now but I guess I'll never know, I will miss him in his tree and especially gliding through my yard.
THE WRITER   July 25th, 2020

Monday, July 20, 2020

Humility of Passion, by me, J.P. Sarno AKA... THE WRITER

                                       Humility of Passion

   It is sad , that such great men, come of late and dark. That great arguments have been settled by Humility of Passion. I have searched far and wide throughout my life and found few. OH ! you can be glad that they are not all gone, but it seems that their voice gets lost through Petulance and Arrogance of Contenders. Men who spoke of speaking softly and carrying a big stick, would have a stern warning of cooperation between lines, for the leaders of today. No grievance  would stay untouched, not contrary or indulgent, rather, passion of a higher truth, between what a man wants and what a men would be willing to give up to see a balance that all can abide.
   Please know I have a strong love of all men who are created from Star Dust and will return so. Our time is so brief that to squander it on, " I AM , So I say, to be sure, I am right and there is no other way " , is just unbelieving in self realization . Look closely at yourself, to your neighbors, to those you love the most, they all seek a truth, a safe and warmer world for your children and your children's children. So think on these people or better yet, a close friend to argue with, even if no cure can be found, just two friends knowing and trusting that each others heart and soul is sound .

Sunday, July 19, 2020

HORROR ; I started this story a couple of years back and there is a good start . Demons are a great source of Horror !

   In the clear cold, I breathe the air. All is frozen, even my care. Neither dark nor light , but still I see a cloud of vapor rising  when I breath. I am laid out on " Christ a slab but nothing else comes to view. I am naked but not cold, I want to scream to end this... dream ? I think I am dead but can't be sure so I scream instead !
   I am awake, I think, I am not sure. Dark. Night sweats stain my pillow, startled awake, my dreams need a cure.
   Thick fingers rake my scalp, combing my hair. I don't know whats worse, awake with dreams of torture or asleep, living the dream.
   No torn sheets, just ragged night clothes knotted tight against my chest, I'd run screaming out into the night but there is no explanation only dark. I rip the buttons and tear the sleeve of my night shirt as I try to untangle myself from this make shift noose, it ends up at the foot on my bed. I lay back down , now on my stomach and flip my stained pillow to the other side... can't breath, I wake with a groan, " Christ , is it morning already ! "
   His phone was vibrating and lighting up at the same time, " yeah, I see ya and I know its you Roxie, just no rest for the weary or wicked, I guess " Jax said to no one in particular. He had already decided not to answer it right now and pay the price later, when an image come into his head, his head on a silver platter, so very vivid it could only be on thing, Roxie giving me a subtle hint that if I didn't pick up and start the day in a Roxie way I would certainly pay the price later, maybe even an hour or two posed with my head on a platter with my body somewhere I didn't want to think about.
   Roxie was a Demon or more precisely  " The Demon "  she was the head demon with all the powers granted to am earthly Demon and you really didn't want to know even the half of it when it came to Roxie's power.
   I picked up the phone and caught her conversation with someone who was going to find out real quick you don't fool with Roxie. " Tortured souls my ass, its not just another party, get it done !  Good morning , Jax "
   Okay , so here is a small taste of this story , no name for it yet that will come later, questions , comments , yeah I bet, fire away and I'll try to do my best, hope you liked it, more to came, thanks
   So here we are again, this story is a hard one for me. I only have some lines written in a notebook that I thought would be a good story , maybe a Horror , with Demons, so I hope that I can grow a good story for you.
   " Good Morning , Roxie, I hear your already hard at work for the next party, its your annual , so your a Satanist now, party, isn't it ? " " Yes of course". Roxie rattled on, " but this year we have something special, something even you haven't seen". " Really?  , come on I've seen everything". " Not this, and something else, but I can't say just yet, so you'll have to wait just like everyone else, I'll need you to go to the Airport and make some pick-ups, alright, I'll send you the times , you'll have a couple of hours yet so there is something I want you to do before you go out to Kennedy, I want you to go to Bearder's and cut that son of a bitch's head off for me and bring it here , you understand !". " Okay, Roxie, you don't have to blow a fuse, I'll get right over there and as soon as I have his head I'll come to you, any special place or at the club ?" " I'll get right back to you on that, call me from Bearder's and I'll let you know where, and don't give me any shit , blow a fuse, your an asshole". And the line went dead. Wow, if she weren't a Demon disguised as a woman, a woman yeah and Shakira is just another Pin-up girl, Roxie is all woman , slightly reddish hair when it suits her, along with her eyes, her hair and sometimes even facial features change with her mood, whether on the chase for sex with one two or three men at once or forming a league of evil assassins to take care of her little chores that took to much time away from her real passion, seducing any and all to the call of Satan. I wonder what Bearder did to deserve being beheaded and brought before the Queen of evil, Roxie. Jax was already thinking to the beheading, how messy it was going to be and how much of a pain in the ass was Bearder going to be, he wouldn't die not right away at least, I think its a couple of months with a sort of holy water brine he would need to soak in with some special words thrown in just for safe measure so he wouldn't return until the end of days, but I know Bearder he is going to throw a hissy fit and I don't even know the reason why Roxie wants his head, all I do know is if I show up without his head in a Stetson Hat Box, Christ that means I've got to run down to J.J's. Hat Center and pick up another fifty Boxes , boy was last year a year for beheading, Human and Demon alike but unlike a Demon creation, humans didn't survive the process.
  Okay, so here is a bit more, I will try to keep up on this story, now I do have just one revision, like I said a story grows and with it things change right before your eyes or my eyes , so when Roxie is over heard saying , "Tortured souls my ass in just another party" I needed to change that to " not just another party " because as I wrote I needed a party that was more important, so now the party is an annual party with something special planned, and if the story works out the way I want everyone will appreciate the surprise, thanks for reading , more to come !
   Well another day and another dollar spent, certainly not saved. Okay, I want you to know how very hard this is, the other stories are basically done , I am just rewriting it , this story is coming out as I think and I think for shit , I really need to write something then fix it as I go, not go as I write. Oh well, I guess I shouldn't cry over not written words.
   Ashantae , or Shana to her friends and every one else, is a simple girl, a young beautiful girl not aware that she is a stunning light brown skin girl with some what high cheek bones and a small mostly upturned nose, but her most stunning feature was her gray eyes. Her eyes captured the light of day and brought it into focus so others that saw her would say she has a sort of light to her. Not to tall but certainly not short she always wore flats when she went out because she thought she was to tall. Her first class didn't start until 8 this morning but as usual she was up at dawn ran her 5 miles came back showered and studies her days lessons before her class. Theology is her Major but she thought being an Atheist made her studies easier. Her Father a Minister at Harlem Episcopal thought she would grow out of it, but even 15 years later after her Mom died she was more Atheist now than ever.
   Okay a new character this gives me a little time to create something that might work, hope you like her, I think shes pretty nice !
   Paul Standard is the T.A. for Religious Studies and lives in the same dorm as Ashantae. Almost every day he would leave notes for extra credit projects and what the next class will be studying. Ashantae knew he liked her and she definitely liked him but she had a problem with what everyone would say even if there was nothing to it. The one thing that Paul did have a problem with was Chuck Wrang the student program Manager. Chuck had a serious problem with the female student on Campus, he wanted to have sex with every single one of them by themselves or with others he didn't care . Paul just thought of him as a pig and had no qualms about telling him so, but Chuck had another problem , he didn't care what any one said about him. Chuck was a good looking young man, and he knew it. At times his heart was in the right place but his head would go towards getting a reward for him self if he could. He and Linda, Ashantae's room mate had , had a thing for a while until Linda found out he had taken an invite for a club that Linda wanted to go to , but it was by invite only and Chuck had taken it and took another girl , that was the end of Linda and Chuck. Linda knew the invitation was for Ashantae and Ashantae never knew about the invite. Linda knew Ashantae would never go to a club at all even if it weren't on a school night. So she had to come up with an excuse to get back at Chuck without Ashantae finding out it was about the invitation to the best club in town.
   Paul know about the club and not taking Linda, but taking an older woman who was certainly not a student. What Paul didn't know was that there had been other invitations to the same club for Ashantae, someone really wanted Ashantae to come to the club, Club Hell is the name and the owner is none other than Roxie. So Linda's plan to get back at Chuck through Paul, she didn't know how yet but she thought to herself she was good at screwing with people, she would come up with something, but for now she would keep her eyes open for another invitation. She knew that most of the time the mail would be in and waiting to be out into each mailbox while Ashantae was on her daily morning run. The problem was how many mornings would she have to be up early to see if an invitation had come. This was her lucky day, or so she thought. The Invitation was right there on top of the NYU paper and schedules of classes being held and those being canceled. She took her chance and hoped the person on the front desk wouldn't remember the invite, she grabbed it and hurried back to her and Ashantae's room before Ashantae came back from her run. Now Linda knew what she was going to do to punish Chuck. She would show the invite to Chuck right before hopping into a cab and going to the club all by herself.
   Okay for now , I've started to bring this around to where some people who are in Ashantae's life get in trouble and she will make some new friends that may or may not be true friends, we will find out together more to come !

Sunday, July 12, 2020

A New Story : Working on a Title, but this story has Adventure, Evil against Good , Magic, Hero's, Minor Gods and Demons

I wrote this story sometime after, Little Paddle. It is very raw. Raw meaning , it has not been edited for anything, punctuation, quotation marks for conversation , I am glad for spell check. When you read, I will try to edit as best as possible. I would ask if you like the story or something particular , you tell me , the same as if you don't like something. Of course this story is not going to be for every one, if you have a certain story you would like to read , again, just tell me. If you think it sucks, just tell me , all I ask is that you tell me how and why and any other descriptive adjective about this story sucking so I can learn how to write and not suck. I will post more each day, I do not know if it will be 1000 words or 100 words as I go I will be fixing this story that I wrote and kind of lost it inside an old Lap Top and until recently I could not get the computer to work. I do hope you like the story. A working Title is... Akeega, the God of the Crystal Caves.

   My name is Akeega I am the whipping winds that blow through the Mountains, I am the soft sweet sound of the sea coming to land. I am one of many minor Gods and yet powerful, and have been a power in these mountains since before time has been recorded. I was put here for an eternity for having interest in the stories of Humans. Like the human Wizards , Merlin, Roland, Seimei, just to put a name to some. They all had power to play amongst the  lesser Gods but not quite powerful enough to deal with the many Demons which still roam this plane on earth.
   My curiosity began at the beginning of time and will continue until Man is either no more or finds a way to become one with his environs.
   I have been commanded to tell this story by those who command me. This is a story  has happened before and will undoubtedly happen again, maybe in this time and place, maybe in another. This is more than a story of one mans quest for love, and his place in time.
   Okay , this is the start , I hope you like it , and of course if you like it there will be more tomorrow. Well its tomorrow and I have a bit more for this story. I don't see any comments or even if someone ,anyone read this story, oh well after all it is only a story.
   This story takes place on a seemingly familiar Island, some many long centuries ago. The Gods like this Island for the very fact that it is an and can be watched without any outside influence, unless of course some outside influence is what the Gods deem, it needs to be, and who better than the Gods to influence the outcome.
   Countless Centuries have gone into the making of this story, from a time when small groups of peoples would stare up into the night sky and wonder. Would the sun would return the next day, what are those small lights up so high. Hunters and gatherers around a fire. The strongest making the rules. The strongest were not always the brightest, smartest,or the cleverest, sometimes not even the best thinkers, most could not even think past today and the food that would be eaten tomorrow, let alone a future where a man who could think about his  people's need's and the best way to achieve it. A smart man who with a small group of men that were loyal could rule over many, a Kingdom in the making. No, those kinds of men that would be rulers, leaders , their time has not come yet.
   One thing these first men did have in common with future rulers was a need to know what other's were doing, tribes that traded and bartered, tribes that would rather fight, kill and take. Learning new things, which in those days mostly meant killing with greater ease, killing was mostly for predators, hunting bigger game and being able to feed more. Later those predators became other tribes.
   As time went on and tribes grew , hunting alone was not enough to feed every one. So a need grew and farming was developed and at first raiding was the easiest way to get food for your growing tribe. Survival made for hunting predators whether those predators were human or animal became a time of discovery and how to protect your people and grow crops at the same time.
   Each year brought more people and more people meant more tribes and those bigger tribes were being rules by smarter men, the Elders, men that had enough bravery and sense to last longer than those who had bravery but not much sense. Smarter did not always mean nicer it just meant those men knew how to raid and kill those who got in his way. To his own people he was a leader and those who wanted to live followed him. Soon there were tribes and all were pretty equal in hunting and killing that it became necessary for the tribe elders, Shamans or Medicine men , men with not only sense but wisdom. Those men came together once a year . At first it was the elders and the strongest of their tribe to protect their elder, Then it became a test of strength with the strongest getting to decide what would happen the next year. Until the one year the very strongest and his elder asked if one man should rule all the other tribes. It was chaos , Brant and the elder Elon barely escaped. It took Brant with the aid of Elon four years to bring all the tribes into one. The Elders agreed to a Council, three Elders ,three of the strongest tribes leaders would be tested with trials of bravery and sense, the elders would then judge each from first to third to be on that council, the elders knew that being the strongest was good but without knowledge no man could be a  true leader and as long as they had that knowledge and shared it with each other there was really no need to worry what elder was on the council, because they had sense enough to rely on each other and kept that knowledge to themselves to be able to keep the strongest in line.
   It was decided that every year there would be a gathering. Bringing people together, all the people the elders and  the strongest. Contests were created and it was a matter of pride for the people of that tribe to have the strongest or the faster in their tribe.
   So every year after  Harvest every tribe small and large would come together and share what was grown what was caught and new discoveries . Plans were made for the next year as to who would host it and how it would go. Peoples were moving back and forth from village to village men and women were making families, moving from where they were born to a whole new village and a whole new way of life.Animals were being domesticated for work and for eating. Each new thing brought about new ways to make life easier . A system of monies was created and that is when things really changed. The crafts began from simple ones like farming and all things involved in farming. From irrigation to be able to bring water to needed areas to waste removal of human and animal waste. Banking was the highest of all the trades and to be able to be a banker you needed a special training , a banking school. Soon there were schools for everything and the bank had their fingers in every single one of them.
   The Guilds were created, Mining for gems for the very affluent , the Masters of those Guilds had there apprentices and it was money that helped you become an apprentice. Unless you were especially gifted in one or another Guild you were meant for hard labor and a special Guild was created for just that use. The Militia was created by the Bankers Guild and the Militia grew very large very fast. It did not take long for the Banking Guild to take advantage of the power they had created.
   Okay enough for now, I must go and do some work or else no one else will do it, be back later to write more, really hope you are enjoying this, I certainly am.
   Back again, really hope you are liking, but that's okay if you don't, after this one or maybe sooner I'll start another and maybe that one will be your cup of tea !
   So all these Guilds had power and wanted more and the way to do that was to create a system that help all knowledge to its founders. Guilds were the foundation of many small towns and although those Guilds brought the knowledge that each Guild had, that was as far as it went. A Guild Elder would elect only those members who were family or related to those in power, that way no new enterprise could go very far without the actual Guild recommendation. Eventually the Guilds became so powerful and wealthy off the backs of those who did all the actual work and no one could complain or they would end up discredited in the field they were supposed to be all knowing in, leading to forfeiture of everything they had worked all their life for.
 The first Guild made King was a puppet to the Guilds and from then on the Guilds made law to enforce the power of the Guilds and with the Militia now a governed entity became the Guilds army. Over the years each guild built schools to teach reading and writing for all those who were Guild born all others were subject to learning through their dealing with the Guilds and became a class system of who you were born to and what you had given to you, if you had nothing or a family that had nothing you were a worker and everything you had was subject to the Realms pleasure, the King saw to that.
   The very first King saw to it that the farmers , fishermen and all the lower trades which included everything that brought the realm monies to the Guilds. Land was the realms to be used as it saw fit, each parcel of land was barely big enough to bring food for the realm and the family that farmed the land. and
   Herald was young, he was a small boy with big bright blue eyes that seemed to get him in trouble when ever he watched the army take his families food and leave the last renderings of that years crop. His mother and father were not good farmers, many years he tried to get into the Iron Works Guild , his father before him was a Blacksmith as was his fathers father. Sten , Heralds father had no money to become a Guild apprentice. When he brought his claim to the local magistrate , which was realm government, he didn't stand a chance he never got to have his say in court and when he tried he was told either prison for not working for the realm or take a small parcel of land and farm it. At the time his wife was pregnant with Herald so he had no choice, he took what was offered and tried his best. The first years were hard but he managed to keep his head and stay out of prison and kept his family fed by hiding food so he and his small family could keep on living. When Herald was walking and talking but yet no use to the farm or his father , his mother Beth was going to have another baby. Herald didn't understand why the baby never cried when it was born. From then on the farm which barely fed them and with what they had to give each year was worse than ever. Herald saw things the way they were and no matter how sad or poor you were you still had longing for you and your family. He did not know why the army came and took away their land, it was so small but it was all they had. Herald's  Mother and Father dies in service to the realm and that was and saw no need to do anything different for this family when so many other families were able to give to the realm year after year, so why change for just one meaningless family.
   Protection from small bands of the army were available if you had something that could be traded, a wife willing to share her bed with a soldier a father willing to give himself for combat training. The realm would give the widow a pension when ever a husband dies in the service of the realm. It was to late for any of that for Heralds parents . Like many before and many after his parents were useful as long as they could give something to the realm , the Guilds, but now he had nothing. No parents , no land or house to live in and no relatives he knew of, only his dreams of the far away mountains. He had often dreamed of the mountains and what it might be like. Once he told his mother of his dreams of the mountain and how they seemed to call to him. His mother went white with fright and told him " what ever he did he should never ever go to the mountains, they hold demons and those who go there never come back".Now Herald thought , I have nothing so what can I lose ?  Nothing ?
   Herald knew this was the probably the end of everything he knew but what else was there, he could thing of nothing. In his dreams he knew there was something better, better for him or better for all, he was young yet and years before he would be called a man but the idea of being on his own with no one calling him to do others work, no master is what drove him on , on to the mountain and his end , probably be eaten by a demon .
   Many eyes watched the Isle of Calion.
Okay this is it for tonight. When I start tomorrow the story starts to get going. With Herald going to the Mountains , what will happen to him . Keep reading , Herald is just beginning when we start tomorrow. thanks for reading.
   Once again I am here writing a story, it is for the most part a readers story that enjoys action adventure with Demons and Gods. Sure there is more but behind the words of this story is meaning. It makes one think about how certain elements can be seen now as things are written about power and money and such. There will be more things that are in this story that are easily  recognizable as to whats happening now.
   So many eyes are watching Calion, one in particular. Akeega watched this young boy as he headed towards his mountain. Herald didn't seem to care that these mountains might be the end of him or that he might not even make it to the mountain. Herald was very young for this sort of trek. it was miles before he would get to the base of the mountain and to climb was not the sort of thing a young boy would normally do.
   Akeega could only sense these feelings from Herald he was still to far away to be able to clearly read his mind but Akeega knew for sure that Herald was coming and short of death nothing was going to stop him. Akeega might not be able to read Heralds mind yet but he could aid in his getting here. Helpg him choose the right path that would lead him to a good place to stop for sleep and also find a spot that had berries and such so Herald could keep his strength up as he traveled. When he did cross paths with people , they seemed quite eager to help young Herald even to the point of asking him if he had any living parents and telling him that he was far enough away from the reach of the realm and need be he could stay and work the farm for his keep. The Mountain was calling and Herald was listening , he heard the offers and thanked them kindly but he knew he must keep going, he didn't understand it all but knew something lie ahead for him , whether good or bad he was going all the way to the mountains. After what seemed like months on the road on small paths along a stream of small tributary of the river that flowed from Calion Mountain to the sea he was finally at the base of the mountain. From where he was right now , looking up and wondering the best way to get to the top put a bit of fear in Heralds heart, he never thought about what he would do when he actually got here , now that he was , and looking up seeing how big this mountain really was made Herald long for home and his parents. Night was quickly coming and the need of food and shelter brought Herald out of his reverie and back to the real world. Once again Akeegas help was there in the form  of a rabbit warren and not much later he had a brace of rabbits on a spit over a warm and inviting fire. Along the way he had been given a water carrier for his back, water was plentiful but to search for it would slow his progress and Akeega didn't know how much this boy actually had in him so any help was good help.
   Herald was full and warm and the spot he had taken to make his fire and have his meal was fast approaching his sleeping quarters. Once he was sure the fire was banked just right for the evening he lay out his blanket another gift from a passing stranger, he fell into a long strong sleep and had the most vivid dream he had ever had in his young life.
  Okay for now , I must get some chores done and check on my car and the new engine being built and then put in after the old engine is taken out, I am really stoked about this, see you later my wonderful readers.
   Dreams for Herald were a constant reminder that there is something more than just what is seen, and a man must be the master of his own domain, the ruler of his destiny. In this dream, Herald was a grown man with others at his command. People were following him as if he were a leader of some kind, everywhere he looked outstretched arms and hands reached for him as he went along. As he looked up ahead he saw roads leading to grand city. A Castle the likes he had never seen or imagined anywhere in his young life, Knights and men of Honor lined the road leading up towards the highest point in the Castle. As he went forward he saw Thrones , one was bigger than the other but both were the most beautiful chairs that were adorned with jewels , gold and silver. Now he was in a room with those very same Thrones and men and women all around. Knights in Armor ladies in silk and satin everything was as if he could have imagined sneaking a look at the inside of a Castle and what might be going on. Even in the largest city of Calion there was no Castle. There were large estates with even larger that life houses but no Castles. As dreams go and weirdness follows , he was now seated in the bigger throne and beside him a woman of such beauty that he could scarcely believe his eyes as to what he was seeing in his dream, as he looked at her she only stared straight ahead but in her profile he swore he would remember this face forever.
   The room was big enough for Tables that were filled with every kind of food he had ever dreamed of in real life, Deer, all kinds of Fowl, roasted Pig what seemed like Snake or Eel , so much food he had never that amount all in one place before. Looking about he saw men and women watching him, and waiting . In an alcove just next to him to the right of his Throne set into the alcove was a smaller niche and in that niche was  a Septer. The Septer was about six feet tall, at about five feet , red, blue and green jewels started at the bottom of the golden handle and etching up the rest of the handle until it stopped at an incredible sight. A crystal globe, eight inches in diameter with gold filigree highlighting a scene. Inside the globe was a blue inlay with a huge ruby that was flat on its top as if it had been perfectly cut off , maybe to make another grand trophy of the other left over piece. The scene on the globe encompassed the whole of the globe starting with an engraved crest with two horses facing each other, a man on a magnificent white steed holding a sword in one hand and the scepter in the other, on the other horse a beautiful black stallion, was a woman holding a sword in one hand and a hawk on the wrist of the other hand. The rest that followed was something of a blur but seemed like  scenes from battles with fire and water and such that he could not begin to understand it.
   The scepter seemed to grow in importance in his dream, it was gaining strength and started to glow with an awesome power. The power and glowing became one and into a gold glowing emblem of the crest on the globe, then the dream and the mountain became one with great ships crossing an ocean to the isle of Caleon. As he stood on the prow of the first ship he knew his destiny was to become the King of Caleon.
   Well I hope I have your attention, I have to stop now but will be back tonight. No rest for the weary. I don't know which is better , staying home no moving trying to deal with pain , or getting out moving and doing but being tired all the time and of coarse sore and hurting, but writing this story. I really do hope someone is reading it is MY DREAM to be read .
   So I see that three people have come to my Blog and maybe read the story or not, thank you so much for checking out my story. I will continue to write this story and watch to see if the number of people grows or shrinks or just stays the same, either way this story will continue, I will write just for me and go till the story ends. I know this type of story is not a cup of tea for many , so I will look through my many years of back logged writings and find other stories to write until I get one that draw a crowd, until then , here is more Akeega the God of this Mountain, the Mountain has a name that goes far in this story but I will not reveal it yet, that would be a spoiler !
   The King of Caleon ( changed the spelling so it would read  ( Cal - le - on ) not ( Cal - li - on ) , yet this is just a dream, Herald thought. It all seems so real , but I am a boy who would follow a boy. If I was a King no man woman or child would go through what I did and I am sure I am not the only one that has had misery and pain in their young life. All these leaders , all they want is to keep everything for themselves. Petty leaders using the weak as fodder and their own glory. If those same leaders could unite the people and let everyone have schooling to teach not only a trade but the knowledge of what life has to offer , not just work but the enjoyment of what can be built by people having a shared dream something that brings them together instead of pitting them against each other, one by one taking them apart until they feel as thought they are nothing, nothing to live for nothing for their children , to better themselves, to want to be better and help each other, bring together man and the land . All this and more was going through Heralds head as he dreamed, he now understood there was more but how to get it, he only knew he had to keep going until he found his answers. He needed to go further up the mountain .
   Now comes the test, I shall see what this boy is made of, Akeega gave a short laugh , it has been so very long since I have seen someone come and want to know if there is more to life. We shall see, Akeega knew others were watching as well !
 Okay for now , must go do some work and earn my keep , see you later !
   Back again, I am not sure how long I can keep up with writing two stories every day, I will try for a while, at least this story, Akeega is already written and all I am doing is fixing the text so the story flows better and of course the grammar needs to be edited for easier reading, so here goes, my first foray into writing two stories in one day, maybe one story one day and the other story the next, I just hope no one wants more Little Paddle the Platypus, the First story , not that I ever wrote , that would be the Whirlpool, I wrote in High School, but Little Paddle is the first story I ever completed and tried to get it sold through self publishing, if you ever want a hard lesson in publishing then self publish something you wrote, holy hell its a lesson and a half plus quite a bit of money. Let me start before I go on another rant !
   Herald woke with a start and didn't know where he was at first, but hat cleared when he saw the peak of the Mountain, he now knew this mountain was called Crystal Mountain, he had no idea how he knew that. What he did know was that he was going to the peak whatever it took he was going to the top and find out what was calling him .
   This will surely test this young boy, to come to the top of the mountain as high as any man has been before him and further still, to the very edge of the heavens and what mortal man knew of its boundaries.
   Herald climbed for hours and hours, that turned into days, days that stretched into weeks, living on roots bugs and small rodents, a Hare, here and there, with only a small knife that was his fathers he used every skill at his command, a small nook at night to stay out out the cold wind. After weeks he had a small cloak made from the skins of the animals that helped Herald survive this trek , and still the top looked ever so far away. There were no more dreams only the hard stone of the Mountain to bring sleep.
   When Herald had reached the very edge of his strength and endurance, Akeega gave the boy a present. A small cave where a bear had had a fight with another animal, the bear was freshly dead and Herald knew this to be a boon sent from some god just for him, he was grateful and prayed so. First he made a fire and took the bears heart and ate it roasted, the blood dripping down his chin and chest. Herald thought he never had a better meal and that thought made him cry, he was still a boy and missed his parents, even though the trials he had been through made him more of a man than many others. With a full belly comes sleep, a dreamless sleep.
   It was very hard work to skin a bear, yet with determination and help from a granite block he could keep his knife sharp. For the next three days he ate well slept well and at the end he had a coat that would keep him warm even in the highest regions of this mountain.
   With a full belly and a warm heart, Herald knew this was right for what ever would come will come and he will weather through, he knew he was on the right path , he just didn't know where that path was taking him, but for now he was alright and that much was good.
   Alright so that's it for tonight, I hope you enjoyed this as much as I have writing it now and before.

Thursday, January 16, 2020

I am lost and can't seem to be able to get up enough of what I have lost to be able to find myself

I truly have lost my place, where I am , is not where I want to be. So you ask , or more than likely you don't ask because I have lost that footing. It is said that no good deed goes unpunished and that only the good die young, so where does that leave me ? I am old and perhaps out grown my time, is there a way to know this for sure. The only way I can think of is to be prevalent in today's forum. I write my posts for me because they are what I have thoughts about , at the time something happens, I see it and it effects me on many levels so I write about it, now I need to write things that are an interest to all others. Who is to say that once I can find a voice to share what others find interesting maybe then those who find that of interest will take another look at what I have a voice in already. So now I come to it, another surgery, I have not completely healed from yet. There are other surgeries that I have had that will never be the same again but that is another thing all together. These surgeries are together, TKR. Yup, TKR is Total Knee Replacement or mine should be Total Knees Replacement. About 6 months ago I had the left knee done and now Janurary 20th 2020 I will have the right knee done. Don't let anyone fool you, especially the Dr. who is doing the surgery. Not to be confused with Dr.Who , who is a cut up all of her own, at least this one is. So pain being not unlike a relative , I could certainly make a relative joke here about how much of a pain in the ass relatives are to have in your house at Holidays or most any other time but seeing as I just did I will let that rest. So, pain being relative is also subjective , one persons pain is another's torture and another's " are we there yet!" I am pretty sure you understand the latter. I am a man , so obviously I am some what callus about pain, I can stay away from tears when I close my hand in the car door or slam my thumb with a hammer, but when it comes to pain day in day out over seconds, minutes and hours filled with pain medication , that makes the day a clock watch. Everything becomes a clock watch. For the first several days the clock not only is a watch but a fiend, yeah not a friend, a fiend. Mostly because you are still in the Hospital, anyone who has spent more than just a night in the Hospital knows the truth of that. By the time you have your surgery you have given what seems like your entire life's story to every one who is within listening range and then for good measure you repeat it all over again sitting there in nothing but a tissue for a house coat to Nurses, the Anasthesiologist and maybe the Dr. just to add to the fun because it is still a ways from the time you go to the O.R. Now for the last month or maybe even more than that I have been anxious, nervous, edgy , reluctant and any other number of emotions that are associated with death and pain and loss, why it that you ask, well I did just have the other knee done 6 months ago and it is still in healing mode along with Spinal fusion with Stenosis and a new metal frame holding my spine in place where the discs were replaced, or the 3 Lung operations oh my there are more but even if you only understand 10% of it you understand enough as to why I am lost

Monday, January 6, 2020

Posts that may be something to read and maybe to learn

  • John Sarno updated his status.
    Aug 31, 2009, 2:52 PM
    winds blow, children cry, shutters slam on abandoned buildings. winds cry, children listen while empty houses shudder. children shudder while the wind blows through their empty crying.
  • John Sarno updated his status.
    if finding means looking and looking means curiosity and curiosity killed the cat i guess i'm glad i have only one life and not nine , because i'd hate to be killed just for being curious
  • John Sarno updated his status.
    bright sunlight burns,where its light settles on the road. etching waves like a rushing tide,not along the horizen towards the shallows, but skyward towards the everlasting heavens.
  • John Sarno updated his status.
    broad days that shine,sheltered inside the day cannot be. shining against eyes ,the blurred vision of life is present,catching a glimpse takes only a glance, but looking slows. long, slow warm summer days lead to peace, winters cold embrace ,is only to close